Enemy Combatant
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Salaam Doodie: Won't Get Fooled Again
The new Bush-Cheney TV ad — "Solemn Duty" — is available for viewing today, on their website.
In it, George and Laura sit side by side, in what appears to be a home office, wearing pained expressions on their faces, like they just got his latest polling numbers.
George speaks:
"My most solemn duty is to lead our nation, to protect ourselves.
(. . . and by "ourselves," I mean, of course, Laura 'n' me. And the girls. Oh, and I guess Unka Dick, too -- but that's it.)
"I can't imagine the great agony of a mom or a dad having to make the decision about which child to pick up first on September the 11th.
(I "can't imagine" it because I've got all kinda Secret Service people to handle them things now. At taxpayer expense. Honestly, how do all you poor folks manage?)
"We cannot hesitate,
(Well, not more'n seven minutes anyway . . .)
"we cannot yield, we must do everything in our power to bring an enemy to justice before they hurt us again."
('cept for a couple side wars Unka Dick and Wolfie say we gotta get handled in Iraq and Iran first.)
Translation: Give us another chance. This time, we won't get caught flatfooted, with our thumbs up our asses, like before. Honest!
Do I see the glisten of flopsweat on his brow? Do I detect that acrid smell of desperation?
Well, as those unintentional comedians on FauxNews constantly like to say,
We Report. You Decide.
